


Saying things we haven't for a while

by thegirl20



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 12:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirl20/pseuds/thegirl20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A love affair that started in high school hits a rocky patch. Told in a series of flashbacks and present day snippets.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Saying things we haven't for a while

“It’s me. I know it’s me.”  
  
Emma Pillsbury resists the urge to sigh as Terri throws yet another pregnancy test into the trash.  _Negative_. Emma hates that word, always has, but recently it’s taken on a whole new level of hatred.   
  
“Sweetheart, it’s not you,” Emma assures her. “We’ve been tested, there’s nothing stopping us from getting pregnant.”  
  
“Then why aren’t we?” Terri demands, throwing her hands up in frustration.   
  
She sits down on the closed lid of the toilet and puts her head in her hands.   
  
“We can’t keep doing this forever,” she mutters, not raising her head to look at Emma. “I can’t take it.”  
  
Emma comes to kneel in front of her, leaning in to kiss the top of her head, leaving her nose buried in Terri’s hair.  
  
“I know, honey,” she whispers. “But we have other options if this doesn’t work. We’ll get there.”  
  
Terri starts to raise her head, slowly and Emma pulls back enough to let her. Terri looks at her with weary eyes.  
  
“Do you promise?” she asks, her voice small.  
  
“I promise,” Emma tells her with conviction.   
  
Because she does believe it. They’ve been together for fifteen years and this little setback isn’t going to stop them from being happy. Emma is a fixer. This is a problem, and Emma will fix it. She has to.  
  
Terri raises a small smile.  
  
“Pinky swear?” she asks, sitting up more and holding out her hand.  
  
Emma smiles back and links their pinkies together.  
  


***

  
In high school, Emma was not a popular kid. She wasn’t unpopular either. She was just kind of a non-entity. She was the weird girl who didn’t like germs. She had accepted her problem and adapted her life to suit. She didn’t go places that were dirty. She brought everything she needed to eat from home. She spent most of her time in the library, away from the dustier sections. Apart from the occasional taunt, she survived in near anonymity and went about her daily life without interruption from friends or enemies. Until one day.  
  
For some unknown reason, the captain of the girls’ hockey team, Doris Bleekley, decided that it would be fun to get the whole team to corner Emma and torture her with the sweaty uniforms they’d taken off after practice. She didn’t know what was happening until she turned around to find the whole team surrounding her holding up their soiled garments, a sea of red and white.  
  
Emma’s mind went into overdrive and then completely blank as she backed into a corner, trying to get away from the sight and the odour. Just as she was to faint, she heard a voice cut through the jeering. The next thing she knew, the team had turned around and Doris was on the floor, having her face rubbed into her own shirt by Terri Del Monaco; captain of the cheerleading squad. The rest of the team deferred to Terri’s status in the school and backed off, even though Terri was quite clearly debasing their leader.  
  
Emma watched in equal parts horror and gratitude as Terri stood back up, dusting her hands on her cheerleading skirt.  
  
“You make sure you pick on people who can fight back in future, _okay_?” she said, nudging Doris in the ribs with her toe.  
  
She didn’t wait for an answer. Instead, she reached out and grabbed Emma’s elbow, pulling her away from the crowd and out into the hallway. Emma could barely breathe and she found herself thrown against a wall. Terri’s face was very close to her own and Emma’s emotions were swimming. It had been years since she’d been in such close proximity with anyone, let alone the most popular girl in school.  
  
“You gotta stand up for yourself, germ girl,” Terri told her, matter-of-factly. “Don’t let people push you around like that.”  
  
Emma found herself nodding dumbly, unable to speak. Terri shook her head and started to move away. For once in her life, Emma didn’t want someone to leave her alone.  
  
“Why did you do that?” she called after her.   
  
Terri turned back to face her with a concerned expression.  
  
“I...don’t really know. You just...you just looked like you needed help,” she explained, playing with the hem on her skirt. “Plus, I hate those hockey sluts.”  
  
“Thank you,” Emma let out a long breath. “Nobody else would’ve done that for me.”  
  
Terri made a tutting noise with her tongue.  
  
“Well, you should try to get some friends...people who have your back,” she said, gruffly. “It helps round here.”  
  
Emma’s eyes dropped to the floor. She’d never had friends. She didn’t know how to start looking for them. But she lifted her head and nodded with a smile.  
  
“Thanks, I...I’ll try,” she says.  
  
Terri rolled her eyes.  
  
“Jesus, okay, consider me your friend,” she said, holding out her hand. “Terri De-“  
  
“Del Monaco,” Emma finished for her, looking at Terri’s hand like it might bite her at any second.   
  
But this girl had just jumped into a baying mob to save her. So she swallowed her fears and grasped Terri’s hand tightly. The feeling of skin on skin was almost electric. Emma didn’t feel the revulsion she normally did when she came into contact with something she hadn’t scrubbed. Terri’s hand was soft and warm and Emma gasped at the touch.  
  
She looked up to see Terri’s head cocked to the side and an amused smile playing at her lips.  
  
“You know me?” she asked.  
  
“Everybody knows you. You’re like, the most popular girl in school,” Emma told her in a rush, then clamped her lips shut, along with her eyes. She sounded like a groupie.  
  
Terri just laughed softly.  
  
“Well, I guess I am a minor celebrity round here,” she admitted. “I’ve seen you around but I don’t know your name. No offence.”  
  
Emma forced her eyes back open, but could do nothing to stop the blush that was rapidly spreading across her face and down her neck.  
  
“E...Emma. My name’s Emma,” she managed to get out.  
  
“Nice to meet you, Emma,” Terri said.   
  
They realised at the same time that they were still holding hands. Terri pulled her hand away and Emma let her, but she didn’t want to let go. That tenuous human contact left her craving more.   
  
Her high school existence got a little easier after that, first as the friend of the Head Cheerleader, then her best friend, then, just before the summer of Junior Year, her girlfriend.   
  


***

  
Emma smiles at the memories. They’ve been together ever since. Through thick and thin. Emma’s never imagined that anything could come between them. But this having a baby thing seems to be taking its toll. Emma tries to concentrate on the papers in front of her, but can’t get past the first few sentences before having to go back and read over them again. She can’t think of anything but Terri.   
  
She’s relieved when a knock on her office door lets her look away from the paperwork. She lifts her head and sees a man she doesn’t recognise on the other side of the door. He has curly hair and a ready smile. He’s wearing scuffed boots and a shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Emma smiles and beckons him in.  
  
“Can I help you?” she asks, gesturing for him to take a seat.  
  
“Maybe,” he says, holding out his hand to shake hers. “I’m Will Schuester, the new Spanish teacher?”  
  
“Oh! Of course,” Emma says, chastising herself for forgetting the new member of staff. “You’re replacing Ms Fernandez. It’s nice to meet you.”  
  
She shakes his hand firmly and he offers her an easy grin before taking a seat across the desk from her.   
  
“You too, I figured you’d be the person to come talk to to get a feel for the kids and the school, you know?” he says, his voice brimming with enthusiasm. “I’m taking on the Glee Club too.”  
  
“Oh. Wow,” Emma says, a fixed smile in place. “That’s…adventurous.”  
  
Will laughs, his face falling into creases to show that it’s something he does often. Emma finds her false smile slipping into a genuine one.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Will says, holding his hands up. “Figgins already told me it was a sinking ship. But I was in Glee when I was in high school and it can be a really great experience for kids. Gives them confidence and self-assurance. And it’s fun.”  
  
Emma is nodding along, her smile growing.  
  
“Well, I think it’s great that you want to do that for the kids,” she says. “Too many of the teachers in this school don’t actually care about the kids’ welfare, you know?”  
  
She’s thinking of Sue Sylvester in particular, but any number of the teachers give off the impression of only being there to pick up the pay packet at the end of the month. It’s something that irks Emma to no end. The primary reason she wanted to become a guidance counsellor was to help kids like she herself had been. There hadn’t been anyone she felt she could turn to. It’s refreshing to see someone so committed to making sure that the kids turn out well rounded and self confident.  
  
“Isn’t that why we’re here?” Will asks, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
“You’d think,” she agrees. “Not everyone would agree with you.”  
  
“Well, that’s what  _I’m_  here for,” Will asserts. “And something tells me you are too.”  
  
She blushes a little, looking down at her desk, nodding to answer his question. Yes, she’s here to make things a little better for the kids of William McKinley than they were when she was a student. There are times when she questions her ability to do that. But mostly she feels like she’s making a difference. And that feels wonderful.  
  
Will smiles again and then stands, leaning on Emma’s desk, his head cocked to the side, almost shy.  
  
“I…could I maybe sit with you at lunch?” he asks, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. “I’ve been eating in my office because I don’t really know anybody…I tried sitting with Ken Tanaka but he just keeps suggesting that we go pick up girls in bars together…that’s not really my scene.”  
  
Emma is surprised by the request, but tries not to show it. Will doesn’t strike her as the kind of guy who would find it difficult to make friends.  
  
“Oh, sure! Sure!” she says, nodding emphatically. “That’d be…lovely. We can talk more about Glee Club, maybe.”  
  
“I’d like that. And maybe we can get to know each other a little better. It’d be nice to have a friend here,” he admits with another shy smile that makes her feel uncomfortable, though she can’t quite pinpoint why. “You didn’t even tell me your name.”  
  
“Gosh, I…I’m so sorry, I…my name is E-“  
  
“Emma Pillsbury, I know,” he says, laughing gently. “I was just kidding.”  
  
Again, she’s blushing, flustered even. He gives her a reprieve.  
  
“I’ll see you at lunch, then, Emma Pillsbury,” he throws over his shoulder as he opens the door.  
  
“Yes. It was nice to meet you, Will Schuester,” she replies, her mouth curling into a smile, despite the redness still in her cheeks.  
  
“Hasta la vista,” he says, pausing in the doorway. “You speak Spanish?”  
  
She shrugs.  
  
“Only a little,” she admits. “I prefer French.”  
  
He winks at her before letting the door swing closed behind him. Emma sits down heavily in her seat, her brow creased up in thought. She’s not sure why meeting a new faculty member has left her feeling uneasy. It never has before. But there’s something about Will Schuester that sets her on edge.  
  


***  
  
They were standing by Terri’s locker one day, Terri was applying her lipstick in the mirror she kept on the back of her locker door and Emma was wondering why she was so fixated on Terri’s lips. She told herself that she was trying to figure out what colour of lipstick she used. Even she wasn’t convinced. But before she had too long to think about it, Johnny Campbell, the quarterback, came along and closed the locker door. Terri scowled at him.  
  
“Jerk,” she muttered, opening the door again.  
  
“You don’t need all that junk to be the hottest girl in school,” Johnny said, leaning against the locker next to Terri’s, pretty much standing in front of Emma.  
  
“I know that,” Terri said, blotting her lips on a Kleenex.  
  
“So…am I gonna see you at the game tonight?” he asked, and Emma tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach.  
  
She’d started to get it whenever anybody else spoke to Terri. It was a kind of fear. Fear that Terri would find someone more fun, more interesting, more  _normal_. But Terri generally calmed her fears without ever realising it.  
  
“Well,  _duh_ , Johnny,” Terri said, rolling her eyes. “I’m the head cheerleader. Kinda required to be at football games.”  
  
He nodded, as if this hadn’t occurred to him.  
  
“Cool, well…maybe we can go get a burger after the game or somethin’?” he continued, apparently oblivious to Terri’s obvious dislike of him.   
  
“No, I go to Emma’s after games,” she told him, closing her locker and linking her arm with Emma’s as they start to walk down the hall.  
  
“Another time, maybe?” he called after them.  
  
Terri didn’t even bother to respond, just rolled her eyes at Emma. Emma giggled, but quickly sobered.  
  
“You know…you don’t have to come to my place after games…you should go out with your friends,” she said. “I mean…Johnny’s cute, and he’s not the only guy who’s asked you out. Why do you never say yes? I mean, isn’t it some kind of rule that the head cheerleader and the quarterback date each other?”  
  
Terri didn’t look at Emma, just kept them both walking.  
  
“Johnny’s pretty, but he’s dumb like sand,” she said. “And I like spending time with you after the games. I see everybody else during the game.”  
  
Emma noticed that Terri didn’t address the fact that she wasn’t dating anyone, and hadn’t dated anyone the entire time Emma had been hanging out with her.  
  
“Hey…you should come to a game,” Terri was saying, drawing Emma out of her musings.  
  
“What?” Emma said, coming to an abrupt halt. “Uh…I…n-no…I mean…there are so many people and they’re all around and close and…”  
  
“I could get you a seat down in the front?” Terri suggested. “You can watch me cheer?”  
  
Emma didn’t want to appear disinterested in Terri’s hobbies so she agreed. And she was almost positive it had nothing to do with wanting to see Terri jump up and down.  
  


***

  
After watching Terri jump up and down for a while, Emma was a little less positive about her motives. It seemed pointless to deny it to herself any longer.  
  
She had a crush on Terri.  
  
Admitting it out loud, or in her head at least, was more of a relief than anything else. It allowed her to explore the thoughts she’d been having. It allowed her to let her eyes trail up Terri’s toned calves, past her knees and up her thighs to the hem of her short skirt and not to explain away the warm, tingly feeling she got from it. It allowed her to watch Terri bounce up and down and not have to try to avert her eyes from her chest. It allowed her to feel what she’d been feeling for a long time.  
  
After that, Emma didn’t watch a single minute of the game, her eyes were on Terri the whole time. Occasionally Terri looked to the stand and winked or waved at Emma. Emma blushed and gave tiny waves back, looking around to see if anyone was watching.   
  
After the game, Terri came bounding over to her, a huge smile lighting up her face.  
  
“So?” she panted, still breathless from their last cheer. “What did you think? Did you enjoy it?”  
  
Emma nodded, seemingly unable to form words. She opened her mouth to attempt to say something witty and intelligent, but found that her teeth were chattering. Terri frowned. She reached up and brushed her knuckles over Emma’s cheek..  
  
“Jesus, you’re freezing!” she said, shrugging out of her letterman jacket and holding it up for Emma to put on.  
  
“N…no…I…I’m not c…cold,” Emma stammered, although she was beginning to realise that she was cold.   
  
Very cold. The warm fuzzy feelings she’d been having about Terri during the game had blinded her to the fact that she was freezing. Terri was shaking her head.  
  
“Put it on,” she said, in a tone that invited no argument. “I don’t want you dying and then blaming me for making you come here.”  
  
Emma turned around, slowly, and allowed Terri to help her put the jacket on. Immediately she was surrounded by Terri’s scent, Terri’s warmth. She pulled the jacket around herself, wrapping herself up in the smell of Terri, not even thinking about the hazards of sharing clothes. She smiled.  
  
“Thank you, Terri,” she said, her voice quiet. “And you were really awesome tonight…really.”  
  
Terri grinned.   
  
“Of course I was,” she said with a wink. “I am the best mover they ha-“  
  
“Oooooh, gonna ask her to prom, Del Monaco?”  
  
Emma ducked her head at the voice coming from behind her, looking up through her eyelashes to gauge Terri’s reaction. Whoever had spoken was silenced by Terri’s icy glare and Emma felt a tiny bit pleased that Terri hadn’t actually said that she wasn’t going to ask Emma to prom. Nor had she removed her hand from Emma’s arm.  
  
“Well,” Terri said, her eyes still focussed somewhere over Emma’s shoulder. “She’s moving to the bottom of the pyramid, effective immediately.”  
  
Emma smiled, still clutching Terri’s jacket around her.  
  
“I…uh….I’m warmer now,” she said. “You can have this back.”  
  
Terri looked at her for a moment before shaking her head.  
  
“Nah, looks good on you,” she said, finally. “Keep it on.”  
  
So Emma did.  
  


***

  
“So, no wedding ring? You  _can’t_  be single,” Will says, one lunchtime around a mouthful of ham sandwich.  
  
Her mouth forms an ‘o’ shape and he closes his eyes.  
  
“God, Em, I’m sorry. That was rude,” he says, fixing her with a sincere look of apology. “I think Ken Tanaka is rubbing off on me.”  
  
He’s taken to calling her ‘Em’. It doesn’t particularly bother her, but she notices it each and every time. She brushes off his apology.  
  
“No, it wasn’t rude, I’m just surprised it never came up before I guess,” she says. “I’m…not officially married, but I’ve been with my partner for fifteen years so I guess we’re pretty much an old married couple in everything but name.”  
  
Will raises his eyebrows and whistles.  
  
“Wow, fifteen  _years_? And he hasn’t married you yet?” he jokes. “Isn’t he afraid some idiot will come along and see your bare ring finger and make a stupid remark about it?”  
  
Emma chuckles, concentrating on her sandwich a little too hard.  
  
“I don’t think  _she’s_  particularly worried about it,” she says, bringing her eyes up to meet Will’s and laughing softly at the expression he’s wearing. “Have I shocked you?”  
  
Will recovers quickly, stuttering a little, hurrying to cover up his faux pas.  
  
“Shocked? No! No, of cour-…I mean, I’m  _surprised_  I guess but…no, it’s…totally cool, of course it’s cool, why would you need me to tell you it’s cool, right? I’m…” he fumbles around for something to say but Emma steps in.  
  
“It’s okay, Will,” she tells him. “I’m used to shocking people. Small town lesbian…kinda comes with the territory.”  
  
Will is nodding, grateful for the out.  
  
“No…that’s….you’ve been together for fifteen years? So, from high school?” he asks.  
  
Emma nods.  
  
“Yep, we’re high school sweethearts,” she says, rolling her eyes, but smiling. “She was my first girlfriend. My first real friend, actually.”  
  
“That’s really sweet,” Will says, biting into a cookie and chewing with a grin. “It’s not too often you hear that these days.”  
  
She acknowledges the compliment with a nod and a smile.   
  
“Yeah,” she suddenly feels the need to change the subject. “So…how about you? No wedding ring? You can’t tell me _you’re_  single?”  
  
There’s a clear teasing tone in her voice and he laughs.  
  
“Afraid so,” he confirms. “Haven’t found that special somebody yet. We can’t all meet the love of our life at high school,” he teases in return.  
  
“No, I guess not,” she agrees, her smile a little wistful.  
  


***

  
Their first kiss was the most romantic thing Emma had ever experienced. It truly was like something out of a movie. She’d known for months that she had feelings for Terri. But she’ assumed that they’d be forever unrequited. And she’d accepted that. Almost. She’d learned to live with it, at the very least. But it turned out she was wrong.  
  
They were arguing over something stupid. They often did. They had opposing views on almost everything. While, in the beginning of their friendship, Emma never felt confident enough to express anything other than total agreement, she soon saw that disagreeing with Terri was something they both enjoyed. They got a kick out of debating everything from politics to the relative merits of Ross and Joey on ‘Friends’. (In reality, Emma preferred Rachel, but she wasn’t quite ready to share that with Terri.) But on this particular day the argument turned into something quite different.  
  
“Terri, learning a language isn’t dumb…it’s a useful skill to have…you’ll be glad you learned French the first time you find yourself in a Parisian café, needing to ask where the bathrooms are,” Emma said, poking Terri in the side with her pencil.  
  
“Yeah, like that’s gonna happen every other week,” Terri grumbled, doodling hearts in the margin of her homework. “And even if it did…I could get my message across.”  
  
Emma shook her head, turning back to her own book.   
  
“That is  _not_  a mime I’d like to see, Terri Del Monaco,” she murmured, reading through the next set of questions.   
  
“Anyway,” Terri said. “If I was in Paris, you’d probably be there too and you’re a whizkid at French so I don’t really need to learn this stuff.”  
  
Emma stopped writing and looked over at Terri, who was concentrating hard on adding shading to one of the hearts she’d sketched. Emma nudged her with her shoulder.  
  
“You’d take me to Paris with you?” she asked, blushing a little.  
  
Terri looked up from her drawing, her eyebrows drawing together.  
  
“That sounds like I’d be paying…” she said. “I said you’d probably  _be_  there. Like…if we go travelling when we finish college or something. Then you can talk your way around Europe and I’ll let you.”  
  
Emma grinned, knowing this was Terri’s way of asking her if this was something she’d like to do.  
  
“That sounds fair,” Emma decides. “As long as you trust me to order food that you like and not have you ending up eating snails and fro-“  
  
She shuddered, unable to even say it. The thought of that kind of food made her feel ill. She returned to her homework, trying to block out the thoughts of slimy disgusting frogs’ legs.  
  
“You’re right,” Terri said, cutting into her thoughts. “I probably should apply myself. Can’t have me going round Europe just eating in McDonalds.”  
  
Emma was grateful for the subtle change of direction. She bumped her shoulder against Terri’s again.  
  
“I don’t know why you even kid about this,” she said. “We both know you have a perfect G.P.A…I don’t know why you play the dumb blonde. You’re not.”  
  
“Oui, c’est vrai. Je suis très intelligente,” Terri said. “Toutefois, tu sais que mes amies n’aiment pas quand on est enthousiasmé par l’école.”  
  
Emma rolled her eyes.  
  
“Oui, oui, ma chérie,” she said, before she could catch herself. “Uh…”  
  
Normally Terri would make fun of her slip and she would blush and they would move on. But Terri’s eyes remained fixed on her French book, meaning Emma’s statement was left hanging between them. Emma suppressed a sigh and tried to concentrate on French verbs. They worked in silence for what seemed like forever to Emma. She silently chastised herself for letting her feelings leak into everything. The last thing she wanted was to ruin her friendship with Terri,   
  
“Emma?” Terri spoke first.  
  
“Uh huh?” Emma said, keeping her eyes on the book.  
  
“How do you conjugate ‘aimer’?” Terri asked, her voice sounding strange, hesitant.  
  
Emma’s brow creased.  
  
“Terri, that’s an easy one…it’s regular,” she said. “It’s j'aime tu aimes…”  
  
Terri reached over and covered Emma’s lips with her finger.  
  
“Je t’aime,” she whispered, and then replaced her finger with her own lips.  
  
Emma thought she might actually explode from sensory overload. She’d never been kissed before, she’d never had anyone tell her they loved her before (aside from her family who totally didn’t count because it wasn’t the same), she’d never had anyone tell her they loved her  _in French_  before; it was beyond her wildest romantic dreams. She’d never believed she could let anyone close enough to do any of this.   
  
When Terri drew away, she looked more scared than Emma had ever seen her. Emma did the only thing she could think of.  
  
“Moi aussi, je t’aime,” she whispered  
  
Emma thought she might actually die of happiness in that moment. And if she had, she wouldn’t have cared. But instead of dying, she reached up and cupped Terri’s face with both hands, drawing her in for their second kiss.  
  
Terri would joke for years that it was a French kiss in more ways than one.

  
***

  
“Some of the teachers from school have put together a band…they’re playing tonight,” Emma begins as they’re clearing up after dinner. “I thought we could maybe go along, support them.”  
  
“The  _teachers_?” Terri asks, absently, reaching up to put away the plates. “Isn’t that what the kids are supposed to be doing? Putting together lame bands that they think will bring them fame and fortune?”  
  
Emma shrugs, a little stung by the derision in Terri’s voice.  
  
“I just thought it might be fun. Something different. Something to get us out of the house,” she mutters.  
  
Terri sighs and turns around, walking over to Emma and taking her hands, leaning in to kiss her cheek.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she whispers. “It’s like…everything makes me want to snap right now. And you’re the last person I should be snapping at. You’re the one who has to put up with me.”  
  
Emma shakes her head, pulling Terri against her, smiling into her neck, feeling right for the first time in days.  
  
“Terri, I don’t put up with you,” she murmurs. “I love you.”  
  
Terri squeezes her tighter before lifting her head. She smiles, bringing her hand up to sweep a stray hair from Emma’s brow.  
  
“We should go to the band thing,” she says. “You’re right. It’ll be nice to go out together. Forget about…stuff…for the night.”  
  
Emma nods and leans in to kiss Terri, a quick, chaste brush of lips together. She draws back, smiling.  
  
“Okay, but I should warn you…Howard Bamboo’s in the band,” she confides.  
  
“Oh Jesus!”  
  


\---  
  


They sit together in the darkened auditorium, holding hands as they watch the performance. Terri leans over to Emma.  
  
“ _’I wanna sex you up’_? Is this really appropriate for a PTA event?” she whispers.  
  
Emma glances over to where Figgins is swaying happily, his eyes firmly closed. She shrugs, turning her head so that her lips are brushing Terri’s ear as she speaks.  
  
“Is it really the song choice you find inappropriate? Or is it Ken’s dancing?”   
  
Terri laughs softly.  
  
“Both,” she confirms, her eyes landing, not for the first time, on the charismatic lead singer. “Who’s the new guy?”  
  
Emma, for some reason, finds herself blushing, and is thankful for the dimmed lights.  
  
“That’s Will Schuester. The new Spanish teacher? I told you about him,” she says, although she knows she only mentioned him in passing.  
  
Terri continues to watch him, nodding.  
  
“Yeah…yeah, I remember you saying somethi-…” her voice trails off as the song ends and Will blows a kiss into the crowd, which, for all intents and purposes looks like it was aimed directly at Emma.  
  
Terri turns to her with an eyebrow raised.  
  
“Well, looks like you have an admirer,” she murmurs.  
  
Emma can tell that she’s trying to be casual, but there’s an underlying tone to the comment. One she doesn’t like one bit. She shrugs.  
  
“I sit with him at lunch, he’s new in town, I don’t think he knows anybody else yet,” she says, while at the same time wondering why she needs to explain someone else’s actions.  
  
“Uh huh,” is all Terri says in return, but her hand tightens around Emma’s.  
  


\---

  
After the show there is a short cheese and wine thing. Emma chats with various parents she knows while Terri forsakes the cheese in favour of the wine. Emma spots Will as he appears through the stage door. He catches her eye and lifts his hand in greeting. Almost immediately, she feels Terri’s arm around her waist and she suppresses the urge to roll her eyes. Terri’s always been a little territorial, she basically started their relationship as Emma’s self-appointed protector and she’s never really given that up.  
  
Will makes his way over, grinning widely at Emma.  
  
“Hey! Did you see the crowd? They loved us!” he raves and Emma can’t help but share his enthusiasm.  
  
“Yeah, it was a great show, wasn’t it sweetie?” she says, turning to Terri, bringing her into the conversation.  
  
“Huh? Oh yeah, you guys were really good,” Terri says. “You were really good.”  
  
Will holds out his hand.  
  
“Terri, I presume?” he says, shaking her hand firmly. “Emma’s told me all about you…but she failed to mention that you were gorgeous.”  
  
Terri raises at eyebrow at his blatant flattery.  
  
“Oh yeah? I guess we’ve been together too long for her to notice anymore,” she says, smiling as she withdraws her hand from Will’s grip.  
  
Emma frowns.  
  
“Of course I notice,” she mutters.  
  
Will clears his throat, a little awkwardly.  
  
“Well, it’s really great to meet you,” he says, before turning to Emma. “I’ll see you at lunch on Monday, Em?”  
  
Emma nods.  
  
“I’ll see you at school. Good job, Will…” Emma says.  
  
He gives both of them a final nod and then disappears into the crowd. Emma takes a deep breath and turns to Terri.   
  
“Ready to go home?” she asks.  
  
Terri takes time to drain the wine glass in her hand before answering.  
  
“Sure, let’s go… _Em_ ,” she says, linking her fingers with Emma’s.  
  
Emma lets the nickname pass without comment. Terri never calls her that. They make their way out of the building and are walking towards the parking lot, when Terri pulls Emma to a halt. Emma stumbles a little and ends up in Terri’s arms. She giggles a little in surprise. Terri leans in so that her nose is against Emma’s cheek.  
  
“Remember how you used to drag me under the bleachers to make out with me before big games?” she whispers.  
  
“No,” Emma says, walking her fingers up Terri’s chest. “That’s  _not_  how I remember it at all. I remember  _you_  dragging  _me_ under there. I protested! Every time!”  
  
“No you didn’t,” Terri says, bending her neck and nipping at Emma’s earlobe.  
  
“Okay, maybe not  _every_  time,” Emma relents, tilting her head and shivering as Terri moves to cover her pulse point with her lips. “But I  _did_  always try to make sure you didn’t miss the start of the cheers.”  
  
She feels Terri smiles against her skin and gently brings her hand to Terri’s face, bringing her up so they’re looking into each other’s eyes. Emma lets a devilish smile cross her lips.  
  
“You wanna drag me under there now? For old times’ sake?” she asks, her voice taking on a husky quality.  
  
Terri smiles in return, unwinding her arms from Emma’s waist and taking her hand, pulling her in the direction of the football field. Emma laughs, shaking her head.  
  
“Shhhh,” Terri warns. “We don’t want security coming and busting us.”  
  
When they get under the bleachers, Emma takes the lead and pushes Terri back against a post, leaning in and kissing her hard. She closes her eyes, concentrating on the feel of her body against Terri’s, the faint taste of wine on her tongue. Terri’s hand comes to rest on her face, her thumb stroking the skin of her cheek. Emma draws away, gently, dropping soft kisses around Terri’s mouth.  
  
“You used to be wearing less,” she drawls.  
  
“A lot less,” Terri agrees, bumping her nose against Emma’s. “Take me home and I’ll wear as little as you like. I think I still have my uniform somewhere...”  
  
“I miss this,” Emma says, suddenly.   
  
Terri looks at her in confusion.  
  
“What? Making out under the bleachers?” she asks, pecking Emma’s lips again.  
  
“No. Us,” Emma clarifies. “Us…together…like this.”  
  
Terri draws away, letting her hands slip from Emma’s body.  
  
“We are together. We’ve always been together,” she says, her voice quiet.  
  
“No, I know…I…” Emma hurriedly rushes to explain. “But I feel…lately…like we’re different.”  
  
Terri looks at her for a long moment before nodding once. She steps away from Emma and starts walking back towards the car. Emma sighs.  
  


***

  
Their first date was weird and kind of awkward. They’d been out tons of times before; to the movies, to restaurants, to dances. But this time it was a  _date_  and this seemed to throw both of them for a loop.   
  
Terri was twenty minutes late. Emma had convinced herself after ten that Terri wasn’t coming. She’d almost gone to take her nice new dress off, but her mother had told her not to be silly, that Terri would be there. So she waited. When the doorbell sounded, Emma was up and out of her seat like a rocket. So much for playing hard to get. She opened the door to find Terri smiling at her nervously.  
  
“I’m sorry I’m late,” Terri said. “I…changed…a couple of times.”  
  
Emma’s eyes took in Terri’s appearance. She was wearing a simple black dress, accessorised with silver jewellery and a silver clutch bag. She was stunning. Emma looked down at her own yellow sundress and bit her lip. She felt so unsophisticated standing next to Terri.  
  
“Should I…I should change,” she said, stepping backwards. “I’ll go change.”  
  
Terri reached out to grasp Emma’s wrist.  
  
“No,” she said. “You look really…nice. I mean…lovely. Jesus…I’m not used to this complimenting people thing.”  
  
Emma laughed softly.  
  
“No, you’re not great at it,” she agreed. “You look gorgeous. Are…are you sure I don’t need to change…because I wasn’t sure where we were going so I…”  
  
“Emma, you look perfect,” Terri broke in. “You don’t have to change. You never have to change for me.”  
  
Emma blushed and looked down at her shoes, lifting her eyes to look through her lashes at Terri.  
  
“Wow, you’re getting better at the complimenting thing already,” she managed to get out.  
  
Terri grinned.  
  
“I’ve always been a quick learner,” she said. “You know that.”  
  
She brought her hand out from behind her back.  
  
“I got you these,” she said, thrusting a bouquet of flowers into Emma’s hand. “It’s totally corny, I know. Sorry.”  
  
“Terri, they’re lovely!” Emma assured her, bringing the blooms to her nose to inhale their scent.  
  
Almost immediately, she started sneezing. And she didn’t’ stop. Terri quickly removed the bouquet from her hand.  
  
“Oh my God, do you have allergies? I…didn’t know that? Did I? Did you tell me and I forgot? Shit…I’m so sorry,” she babbled while moving past Emma into the house and disposing of the flowers in the trash.  
  
Emma, after getting the sneezing under control, shook her head.  
  
“I didn’t tell you…mainly because I didn’t know…” she said, rubbing her nose with a tissue and wiping under her eyes in an attempt to save her make up. “I’ve never…that’s never happened before.”  
  
Terri rolled her eyes.  
  
“Great,” she murmured. “So I managed to pick out the only flowers in the world that make you sneeze.”  
  
“It’s fine, I’m fine,” Emma told her, though her nose now sounded slightly stuffy and her eyes were a little swollen.  
  
Terri sighed and kissed Emma’s cheek.  
  
“Should we go? We’re gonna be late…because I was late.”  
  
Emma nodded, butterflies seemingly having a party in her stomach.  
  
“Sure, let’s go.  
  
Terri reached out and took Emma’s hand, leading her out of the house and down the walk to where her car was parked on the street. She opened the door for Emma and waited for her to get in and get comfortable. Emma didn’t realise that Terri was still holding the door when she pulled it shut; closing it on Terri’s little finger. Terri’s howl of pain alerted her to this fact.  
  
“Oh! Oh! Terri! I…” Emma said, fumbling with the door handle, trying to get the door open and eventually managing it.  
  
“Sonofa…” Terri hissed, putting her injured hand under her opposite armpit and turning away.   
  
Emma got back out of the car and tentatively reached out to touch Terri’s shoulder.  
  
“Terri…are you okay?” she asked.  
  
“Mmmmhmmmm,” came the reply.   
  
“I’m so sorry…I didn’t realise…I…” Emma stammered, mortified at what she had done. “Can I…do you want me to take a look at it?”  
  
“It’s fine,” Terri said, examining the finger for herself.   
  
She turned around and held it up for Emma to see. It was obvious that the finger was going to bruise badly, but Terri could still wiggle it, so it didn’t look like it was broken.  
  
“I’m sorry,” Emma whispered.  
  
“It’s fine,” Terri said, again. “It’s only the little one…and what would I even use that for, right? Apart from maybe pinky swearing.”  
  
Emma gently took Terri’s hand into her own, lifting it to her lips and kissing the damaged digit. She raised her eyes to meet Terri’s and saw that she was smiling.  
  
“It’s all better now,” Terri said. “C’mon, we’re so late.”  
  


\---

  
They were late, and because they were late, the restaurant had given away their table and they ended up sitting at a tiny, cramped table right next to the kitchen. It was noisy and the kitchen door kept hitting the back of Terri’s chair when the waiters bustled through with huge trays of food.  
  
The restaurant offered Eastern European fare. Terri had chosen it because it seemed exotic and chic. However, the menus were written in Czechoslovakian or something similar, and neither of them had any clue what the dishes were. Emma’s nerves brought out her OCD, which, since meeting Terri and being brought more into school and social life, had been getting much, much better. But she found herself polishing the silverware with her napkin, only stopping when she noticed Terri watching her, a slight crease between her eyebrows indicating her worry.  
  
The food came and turned out to be less than desirable. Cabbage appeared to be the main ingredient. Terri poked what seemed to be the meat on her plate with some trepidation. She glanced over at Emma’s.  
  
“How’s yours?” she asked.  
  
“It’s…uh…” Emma searched for something to say as she moved the food around her plate. “Interesting.”  
  
“Yeah…mine too,” Terri said in understanding, trying to make it look as if she’d eaten something, the waiters were terrifying.  
  
“So…what did you do today?” Emma asked.  
  
“I had practise this morning,” Terri said. “You know. Regionals.”  
  
Emma nodded. She did know. She also knew that Terri had gone to practice practise and that she had gone to her Nana’s afterwards and then to the mall. Because they’d spoken on the phone in the afternoon and Terri had told her all of this. And it had been a hell of a lot easier than the dinner conversation.   
  
“Was it cold…this morning?” she prompted.  
  
When Emma realised that she had just asked Terri about the weather, she knew things were pretty bad.  
  
“It was…kinda cold, yeah, I guess…for the time of year” Terri said, looking like she’d come to the same conclusion.  
  
The rest of dinner passed in much he same manner and when Terri was settling up the check, Emma went outside because she needed air. She stood in the twilight, taking deep breaths. She was absolutely positive they were going to break up. Something just wasn’t working and she couldn’t understand it. As friends they’d been amazing. She heard the door open and steeled herself for the inevitable tone in Terri’s voice.  
  
Terri came and stood next to her, looking up at the sky. When she spoke, there was no apology in her voice, no awkwardness either.  
  
“So…that was a bust, huh? Wanna go make out in my car?”  
  
A smile broke over Emma’s lips and she turned to face Terri, finding her already smiling back.  
  
“That sounds perfect,” Emma said. “I think I’d really like that.”  
  
Terri laughed in relief.  
  
“Good.”  
  
She took Emma’s hand and they started walking to the car.  
  
“For our next date, let’s avoid anything with foreign menus,” Terri mused, swinging their joined hands between them.  
  
The words ‘next date’ gave Emma a warm feeling low in her belly and she let go of Terri’s hand, wrapping both of her arms around Terri’s arm instead, leaning her head on her shoulder.  
  
“And I’m not bringing you flowers,” Terri continued, eliciting a giggle from Emma.  
  
“And I can open doors for you, but I’m letting you close them by yourself,” she finished, just as they reached the car.  
  
Emma turned around and planted a kiss on Terri’s lips, letting her hands drift down Terri’s arm and around to her back, pulling her in against her.  
  
“That sounds fair,” she told her. “And thank you for tonight. It was…well, it helped us decide on what we want for our next date. Which will be perfect.”  
  
Terri smiled a bashful smile, but it soon turned impish.  
  
“Pinky swear?” she said, holding up her now impressively purple little finger.  
  
Emma grinned, and very gently linked their pinkies together.   
  


***

  
Since they decided to try and get pregnant, their lovemaking has become less frequent. The irony of this is not lost on Emma. She’s still sometimes a little sad that they can’t ‘make a baby’ that’s part of both of them. But they picked out the donor together and Terri insisted on him having red-hair and brown eyes. The act itself is not exactly romantic, but they’ve opted to do it themselves. Emma makes sure everything is clean and Terri makes jokes about basting a turkey and they get through it. They’ve tried a few times, and nothing. It’s frustrating to say the least. Especially because Terri takes all the blame on herself, even though Emma assures her that there is no blame to be apportioned.   
  
“Can I ask you a favour?”  
  
The words draw her eyes away from her screen where she’s organising her e-mail folders. Or, rather, she’s reorganising them. It’s something she does when she needs to think. But her thoughts are jumbled and confusing and she thinks she’s probably actually disorganising them right now.  
  
Will’s head is poked in her door, his body still in the hallway. She smiles and beckons him in, glad of the distraction.  
  
“Sure,” she says as he seats himself opposite her. “Ask away, I’ll try to be as much help as I can.”  
  
He leans forward, his elbows on her desk, his face completely serious. She begins to worry about what he might be about to ask. Then he breaks into a grin and she smiles nervously in response.  
  
“How do you feel about being a judge?” he asks.  
  
“A…judge?” she says, her eyebrows drawing together. “Wh..what kind of judge? What would I be judging? Because I don’t really like to be judgy…I mean, in my position I try to treat everybo-“  
  
“Emma…Emma,” he interrupts her babbling with a soft smile. “I’m having the kids compete against each other, boys against girls. They…well, Rachel, insisted that I get a woman judge to cancel out my natural bias toward the boys.”  
  
“And…and you thought of me?” she says, touched. “But I…I’m not exactly an expert on music, Will.”  
  
“You are the most honest and impartial person I know…you’re perfect.”  
  
“You’ve obviously never played Scrabble with her. Talk about a cheater?”  
  
Emma actually jumps out of her seat a little at the unexpected voice. She looks up to find Terri standing in the doorway. She’s smiling but her eyes are cold. It’s an expression that’s generally reserved for when she’s around her mother. Emma hates it. Will doesn’t seem to notice and he laughs, turning to Terri.  
  
“She cheats at Scrabble? Really?” he asks, his easy grin firmly in place as he glances back at Emma.  
  
She tries to smile back at him, but her eyes are on Terri as she slinks into the room, all fluid limbs and predatory eyes.  
  
“Oh totally,” Terri tells Will. “She tries to peek at the letters before she takes them, she makes up rules to suit herself, she changes the score when she thinks I’m not looking…it’s ridiculous, really.”  
  
Emma’s smile is tentative and she shakes her head.  
  
“That’s you, honey,” she says as Terri arrives by her chair.  
  
“Oh yeah, that’s me,” Terri says, and then leans down for a kiss that lasts longer than propriety dictates when there’s someone else watching.  
  
Emma gently pushes her away with a hand on her shoulder. She looks at Will and bites her lip, he’s looking anywhere but at the two of them.  
  
“What…uh…what brings you here?” Emma asks, standing up and crossing her arms over her chest, putting a little distance between herself and Terri without really knowing why.  
  
“You left your lunch on the counter,” Terri says, raising an eyebrow at Emma’s stance but saying nothing. “I brought it down for you.”  
  
She reaches into her oversized purse and brings out a brown paper bag, handing it over. Emma takes it and places it on her desk.  
  
“Oh…I can’t believe I left it behind,” she says, thinking back to that morning.  
  
“You were kinda in a rush,” Terri says. “I guess you just forgot.”  
  
“I…guess,” Emma says, wondering when she became so eager to leave home to get to work.   
  
Will clears his throat and stands up.  
  
“Well…I have a class next period, so I should go prep for that,” he says, glancing between the two of them. “It was nice to see you again, Terri.”  
  
“Yeah, you too,” Terri says, though her voice is devoid of any emotion whatsoever.  
  
Emma almost feels the need to apologise for Terri’s behaviour, but she hasn’t actually done anything wrong. She turns to Will with a forced smile.  
  
“I’ll see you later, Will,” she tells him.  
  
“Sure, Em,” he says, opening the door to her office but pausing briefly. “Think about my proposal okay?”  
  
He winks at her and then he’s gone. She grits her teeth, knowing that Terri’s going to say something.  
  
“His  _proposal_?” Terri says, both eyebrows as high up as they’ll go. “And tell me, what’s he  _proposing_  that you’d be so _perfect_  for?”  
  
Emma rolls her eyes, depositing her lunch on the desk and facing Terri.  
  
“He asked me to be a judge for a competition he’s holding in Glee,” she says. “He thinks I’m fair and impartial.”  
  
Terri’s face softens.  
  
“Well, I don’t know if I agree with that,” she says, affectionately. “As demonstrated by your refusal to choose me as the best colourer when Amber sleeps over.”  
  
Emma laughs, the tension broken. Amber is Emma’s brother’s daughter. They babysit for her occasionally and she always wants to challenge Terri to a colouring contest.  
  
“Sweetie…Amber is  _four_ ,” Emma says, slowly and deliberately.  
  
“Uh huh,” Terri says, her face completely straight. “And I’m clearly a better colourer…but you still insist on choosing her drawings. Every. Time.”  
  
Emma approaches Terri and wraps her arms around her waist, smiling at her.  
  
“You wanna know a secret?” she asks, leaning in and whispering loudly.  
  
Terri nods, playing along.  
  
“I actually think you’re the best colourer,” Emma confides.  
  
“I  _knew_  it,” Terri says, snapping her fingers. “See, you’re biased! You choose her because she makes those big sad eyes at you.”  
  
“Baby,  _you_  make big sad eyes at me,” Emma corrects. “I choose her because she’s four and she responds well to praise and it makes her feel good about herself.”  
  
Terri sighs.  
  
“Fine,” she says. “I guess I can live with knowing that I’m secretly your favourite.”  
  
“Always,” Emma whispers.  
  
“So…you gonna do this judging thing?” Terri asks. “Will it be like American Idol?”  
  
“I doubt that,” Emma says. “And yeah…I think it’ll be fun.”  
  
Terri nods and kisses Emma’s cheek.  
  
“Good…you should have fun,” she says, starting to pull out of Emma’s arms. “I gotta get to work.”  
  
Emma doesn’t let her go, and instead pulls her back in, placing a hand on her belly.  
  
“You know I’m gonna tell our baby that she’s the best colourer too, right?” Emma says, a twinkle in her eye.  
  
Terri smiles, a real smile.  
  
“Yeah, I do know that.”  
  
Emma smiles and leans in for a kiss, pressing her lips against Terri’s, savouring the comfort it brings her and imagining feeling a baby kick under her hand one day soon  
  


***

  
The first time they made love was incredible.  
  
Emma had been self-conscious as they had started to explore each other’s bodies. Terri was a cheerleader. She was toned and tanned and beautiful. Emma was skinny and pale, and had never thought herself anything more than plain. But when Terri touched her, she felt beautiful. Desirable.  
  
Terri was also popular girl, with friends. She talked about stuff and heard people talk about stuff in the locker room that Emma was not privy to, so she really didn’t know a great deal about sex. When it became clear that they were headed in that direction, Emma took it upon herself to prepare. At the risk of great personal embarrassment, she went to the public library and checked out both the biology section, and the erotica section. She left more confused than when she arrived.   
  
They’d been building towards it for weeks. They knew it was going to happen and they somehow agreed, without discussing it, that it would happen at Emma’s parents’ house when they went away for the weekend.  
  
Emma had spent all afternoon getting ready, she’d showered three times and changed in and out of the lingerie set she’d bought for the occasion twice. It seemed…over the top. Unnecessary. Terri loved her and she didn’t need to do anything fancy to make that true.   
  
Then she panicked an hour before Terri was due to turn up and put it back on. Only to remove it ten minutes later. She settled on a white cotton underwear set under jeans and a nice blouse. Then she worried that maybe Terri would’ve dressed up for the occasion, so she called her.  
  
“Hey, I’m leaving in ten minutes,” Terri informed her, after being called to the phone by her very unenthusiastic mother.  
  
“What are you wearing?” Emma asked, without preamble.  
  
“Uh…are we doing this over the phone…I thought we were doing it in person?”  
  
“Terri. I’m being serious. What clothes are you wearing?”  
  
“Jeans and a sweater?” Terri’s answer was laced with a smile. “And underwear,” she added as an afterthought.  
  
“Is it fancy underwear?” Emma asked.  
  
“…Well, it depends what we’re calling ‘fancy’…I’m not wearing granny panties if that’s what you’re asking.”  
  
“Right,” Emma said, Terri’s humour alleviating her worry a little. “So just normal underwear?”  
  
“Very normal,” Terri assured her. “But don’t worry. I don’t think there’s a dress code.”  
  
“Funny,” Emma said, but she found herself smiling nonetheless.   
  
“Are you okay?” Terri asked. “I mean, with…this? We don’t have to do it. We can wait.”  
  
Emma didn’t want to wait. She loved Terri and she wanted to be with her and she was panicking over nothing. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.  
  
“I…think I just need you to get here,” she told Terri. “I just need to see you…that’ll make me okay.”  
  
“Okay,” Terri said. “I’ll be there soon. I love you.”  
  
Emma’s smile grew.  
  
“I love you too,” she said. “Now get over here!”  
  


\---

  
Emma was standing in the hallway when Terri knocked at the door. She rushed forward, but hesitated before opening it, trying to compose herself. Once she was sure her breathing was under control, she pulled the door open and smiled. Terri smiled back, stepping forward to kiss Emma’s cheek.  
  
“Hey,” she said, pulling back. “You look pretty.”  
  
“So do you,” Emma said, stepping aside to let Terri in.   
  
She closed the door and self consciously straightened her clothing, again questioning her choice not to put on the nice underwear set. Terri looked down at her feet, rubbing the toe of her shoe into the rug. Emma watched her, marvelling, not for the first time, that this girl wanted to be with her. She shook her head, needing to get the insecurities out.  
  
“Could…could you maybe kiss me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “Or hug me…or…”  
  
She didn’t get to the next ‘or’ because she was immediately wrapped up in Terri’s arms, her lips covered by ones that tasted faintly of mint.   
  
“Are you scared?” Emma asked, stroking Terri’s face with shaking fingers.  
  
“No!” Terri answered, immediately; an automatic defensive response.  
  
“Oh,” Emma’s head drooped, her chin resting on her chest and her hand falling to her side.  
  
Terri sighed and moved forward, kissing the top of Emma’s head.  
  
“I’m terrified,” she whispered. “Because I think you think I’ll be really good at this and I don’t know if I will be and I want to make it good for you.”  
  
Emma looked up to see her own insecurities reflecting back at her through Terri’s eyes. Bizarrely, or perhaps not, it boosted her confidence. To know that she wasn’t alone, that Terri was scared, that Terri wanted it to be good. Terri leaned in and bumped her nose against Emma’s. A gesture Emma had long since recognised as Terri telling her that she was in need of comfort or reassurance.   
  
“We’ll take it slow,” Emma told Terri, pulling her in and holding her tight. “It’s not like we haven’t…done stuff. A-and if it’s not great straight away I think that’s normal…we can keep trying.”  
  
Terri grinned, shaking her head.  
  
“You’re really cute, you know that?” she asked.   
  
Emma blushed and tried to scowl.  
  
“I wasn’t being cute, I was being serious,” she said, poking Terri in the ribs.  
  
“I know,” Terri said, leaning in and lowering her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “That’s what makes it so cute.”  
  
Emma blushed deeper and kissed Terri to stop her from talking. Emma still felt a thrill every time they kissed. Growing up, she’d never really thought she’d be able to be close to anyone that way. She wanted to be. God, did she want to be. She used to watch Ghost and wish that she’d find someone who loved her as much as Sam loved Molly. She imagined that any love affair she had would be similar to that movie; in love but unable to touch, always kept apart by something beyond control. Until she met Terri.  
  
It wasn’t that Terri forced her to face her fears or even that she pushed her to do things she hadn’t done before. With Terri, things just didn’t seem as bad. It makes her wonder if her parents had just tried a little harder when she was younger to get her to do ‘normal’ things, instead of enabling her to stay inside her sterile little bubble, maybe she’d never have developed the condition in the first place. But then, she might not have met Terri.  
  
She drew out of the kiss slowly, nipping at Terri’s lower lip with her teeth. She looked up at her.  
  
“Do you…do you want to go to my room?” she asked. “I mean…I…I want to go to my room. I…would like us to go to my room now.”  
  
Terri nodded.  
  
“Let’s go to your room.”  
  


\---

 

They ended up on Emma’s bed, lying on top of the covers, fully clothed, holding hands and staring at the ceiling.   
  
“Do you…want to start?” Terri asked.  
  
“Uh huh,” Emma said, her earlier nerves had resurfaced somewhere between the hallway and the bedroom.  
  
“Okay,” Terri said, not moving.  
  
They lay in silence again. She could feel her hand growing sweaty in Terri’s and she tried hard not to squirm. Then Terri’s hand was gone as she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.  
  
“This is dumb,” Terri said, walking around to where Emma was lying.   
  
Emma held her breath, propping herself up on her elbows as Terri sat down next to her. Terri swept Emma’s hair behind her ear and leaned in to kiss her, her lips moving confidently over Emma’s as they had many times before. Emma sat up more fully, wrapping her arms loosely around Terri’s neck.   
  
Terri’s hands moved down Emma’s back, pulling her close and splaying her fingers over her blouse. Emma whimpered a little in her throat, threading her fingers through Terri’s hair. The unease in her stomach faded as the familiarity of being with Terri started to take over.   
  
Deciding to be a little bold, she pulled away, bringing her hand to Terri’s face and rubbing her thumb over her lips.  
  
“Lay back on the bed,” she whispered, hoping the lights were dim enough to hide her blush.  
  
To her relief, Terri didn’t laugh. In fact, her face went slack, her eyes seeming to darken as Emma watched. Terri scooted back on the bed until she was sitting against the headboard, a pillow behind her back. Emma crawled up and straddled her legs, settling her weight on Terri’s lap. Any embarrassment she might have felt was mitigated by the look on Terri’s face. It was sheer wonder.   
  
Terri’s hands went to Emma’s hips, her thumbs venturing up, underneath Emma’s top, to brush over the skin of her midriff. Emma gasped at the contact. Terri’s hands stilled.  
  
“Is…that okay?” she asked, even though they’d gone further than that before.   
  
Emma nodded, bringing her hands to the buttons of her blouse, undoing each one in turn, with shaking fingers. She reached the last one and slipped it through the button hole, unsure of what to do next. She looked down into Terri’s eyes, needing guidance. Terri didn’t say anything, but she moved one hand from Emma’s hip to cover her bare abdomen, under her blouse. Emma’s stomach clenched under Terri’s fingers and she inhaled, holding the air in her lungs as Terri’s other hand came into play.  
  
Looking into Emma’s eyes, Terri’s hands crept up Emma’s sides, the blouse parting with their progress. When she reached her shoulders, she pushed the garment off, leaving Emma in her bra. Emma immediately crossed her arms over her chest, but Terri removed them, taking Emma’s hands into her own and bringing them down, placing them on her body.  
  
“Now me,” Terri whispered.  
  
Emma nodded, repeating her actions on Terri’s shirt, undoing the buttons and getting rid of the clothing by throwing it off the bed, not even thinking about folding it and placing it on the chair. With Terri’s shirt gone, Emma was far more aware of Terri’s breathing. With every breath Terri took, her breasts pushed against her bra and Emma couldn’t take her eyes off them. Unthinking, she reached out cupped Terri’s right breast. The skin was impossibly soft, the nipple seeming to get harder under her thumb. Terri’s hiss sounded like pain and Emma immediately drew her hand back.  
  
“No,” Terri said, catching Emma’s hand and bringing it to its previous position. “It feels…I want you to do it.”  
  
“O…okay. That’s good, because I want to do it,” Emma admitted.  
  
She squeezed a little, not hard, just testing. Terri’s moan indicated that the test had gone well. Emma brought her other hand to Terri’s other breast, kneading the flesh and rubbing her thumbs across Terri’s nipples. It felt like the most natural thing in the world. All those things she’d read beforehand felt forced and procedural. This just felt right.  
  
Then Emma realised she had a warmth pooling between her legs. She tried not to move too much in case Terri could feel it against her. She knelt up a little further, so that she wasn’t touching Terri as much. Terri didn’t seem to like that and surged up on the bed, using the hands on Emma’s hips to bring them together in a heated kiss.   
  
Emma lost all thoughts of self-consciousness when Terri started kissing her way down her jaw and onto her neck. Emma let her head fall to the side to give Terri better access.  
  
“Oh my God, Emma,” Terri murmured against her skin. “You are…I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” Emma whispered, as Terri moved down, onto her collarbone, licking along the length of it with a hot tongue.  
  
When Terri’s lips first came into contact with her breast, Emma thought she might pass out. With no conscious thought, she arched forward, trying to get closer to Terri. Terri’s hands splayed across her back, slid up to the catch on her bra, undoing it after a brief struggle. Emma froze for a second, before relaxing, sitting back enough to allow Terri to slide the straps down her arms.  
  
Emma’s face was on fire as Terri’s eyes drank in the sight of her bare torso. She willed herself not to cross her arms. Terri looked up at her face and smiled.  
  
“You’re gorgeous,” she breathed,.  
  
“Your turn,” was Emma’s response.  
  
Terri reached behind her own back and unhooked her bra, letting it fall down her arms and tossing it aside. She draped her arms around Emma’s waist, pulling her in so they were pressed against each other. The sensation of skin on skin was almost too much. But still not enough. Emma craved more contact. With Terri’s full breasts pressing against her own, every movement now seemed heightened because it sent a shockwave directly to her core. She could feel the steady thud of the pulse between her legs and her hips automatically tilted, trying to gain purchase on something.  
  
Terri was kissing her neck again, moving downwards. Emma’s hand rested on the back of her head, guiding, giving permission. When Terri’s tongue snaked out to lick her nipple, Emma pitched forward, knocking both of them off balance. Terri ended up on her back with Emma hovering over her on all fours.  
  
“God, I’m sorry!” Emma said. “Are you okay?”  
  
Terri laughed.  
  
“I’m fine,” she told her, reaching up to press Emma’s nose with a finger. “I…just didn’t expect that reaction.”  
  
“Me neither,” Emma admitted with a bashful smile. “I’ll…try to not do that again.”  
  
Terri shook her head.  
  
“I kinda liked that you did that,” she said. “I kinda wanna make you do it again.”  
  
Emma smiled.  
  
“Really?” she asked.   
  
Off Terri’s nod she lowered her eyes.  
  
“I really want to let you, but I also really want to see if I can do it to you,” she murmured.  
  
Terri shrugged.   
  
“We can do both,” she decided. “We have all night.”  
  
Emma nodded, but then her brow creased up in worry.  
  
“Should we be discussing this right now? I mean…in the middle of…shouldn’t we just be doing it?”  
  
Terri bit her lip.  
  
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I think it’s probably good that we can talk about this stuff. Some of the girls on the squad say that their boyfriends don’t last long enough to have conversa-”  
  
Emma covered Terri’s lips with her finger.  
  
“Okay, I think that’s probably enough talking,” she said, feeling quite powerful in her position above Terri.  
  
Taking a deep breath, she lowered her head and kissed the top of Terri’s breast.   
  
“Jesus,” Terri whimpered, as Emma continued to kiss her, swiping her tongue back and forward over an impossibly hard nipple.  
  
Terri strained up off the bed as far as she could. Emma’s hand on her belly was gentle, pushing her back down, leaving her hand on her abdomen. Emma rubbed her nose against Terri’s nipple, feeling the skin pucker even further. Finally, she took it into her mouth. The moan that escaped Terri was like no sound Emma had ever heard. It was a deep, rumbling noise that Emma could feel in her bones. She sucked on the hard nub, Terri pushing up into her and making little keening noises. She pulled away, reluctantly. But she wanted to see Terri’s face.   
  
Her eyes were closed and her face twisted in concentration. At the loss of contact, her eyes fluttered open and she looked up at Emma, panting.  
  
“Wow,” she squeaked.  
  
Emma smiled.  
  
“Good?”  
  
“Good?” Terri asked, incredulously. “It was…well, let me up and I’ll show you.”  
  
“You…you don’t have to,” Emma said. “I like doing it for you.”  
  
“You can do it to me more,” Terri said. “You can definitely do it to me more. But I want a turn now.”  
  
Emma smiled and carefully climbed off Terri, turning onto her back. Terri moved smoothly to cover Emma’s body with her own, Emma’s legs parting to accommodate Terri. Their position only made Emma even more aware of the increasing wetness between her legs. Every time Terri moved, the friction made Emma’s breath catch and she grasped desperately at Terri’s back, holding her close. Terri, for her part, was keen to get to her task. She quickly and efficiently kissed her way down Emma’s neck, reaching her goal and using her hand to cup Emma’s breast, bringing it to her mouth and drawing a circle around her nipple with her tongue. Emma’s body practically convulsed and Terri grinned up at her before dipping her head and taking the nipple fully into her mouth.   
  
Emma was so preoccupied with how good it felt that she barely noticed Terri’s hand creeping down her stomach. It was only when she felt the waistband of her underwear being breached that she realised what was happening. Emma caught Terri’s wrist, pinning it in place. Terri looked up in confusion.  
  
“What’s wrong?” she whispered.  
  
Emma squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head.  
  
“It’s…I’m all…” she couldn’t bring herself to say the words; to tell Terri that she was wet.   
  
Then Terri kissed her and Emma could feel her smiling. She opened her eyes to find Terri looking down at her.  
  
“So am I,” Terri told her. “I think that’s kind of the point.”  
  
“You are?” Emma whispered. “Really?”  
  
Terri nodded. She took Emma’s hand and guided it between her legs to press against her panties. They both inhaled sharply at the contact. Emma could hardly believe that she’d caused this to happen. She made Terri feel this way. She looked up into her eyes and nodded her head.  
  
“Okay,” she said.  
  
Terri nodded in return, her face turning serious. She brought their hands out from between her own legs and placed Emma’s back on the bed, next to her head. Slowly, slowly, she slid her hand down Emma’s stomach and under the waistband of her panties. Emma tensed automatically, embarrassed that someone else could feel her reactions. But Terri’s face betrayed no disgust, no revulsion, only love and wonder.  
  
Terri’s fingers were tentative and gentle as they worked their way between her folds, searching for the right way to touch her. Emma moved with her, trying to help. After a few seconds and a little muttering from Terri about ‘different angles’, Terri’s fingers brushed over Emma’s clit. Emma practically screamed.  
  
This time, Terri didn’t stop to check she was okay. She repeated the motion, a little firmer. Emma held onto Terri’s shoulders, her hips rising up to meet Terri’s hand.  
  
“Terri,” she whined.  
  
“Shhh,” Terri soothed, now rubbing the tiny bundle gently with two fingers. “Is this okay?”  
  
“Mmmhmmm,” Emma managed, unable to find the words.  
  
Her face was growing hot and she couldn’t concentrate on anything because of the rushing in her ears. Terri kissed her and she tried to kiss back but it was sloppy and uncoordinated. She tried to make sense of the things she was feeling, but it was no use, everything was coming too fast, too intensely, for her to process.  
  
And then Terri slid two fingers inside her. Her body jerked at the unexpected movement. Terri paused.  
  
“Are you okay?” she asked, sounding short of breath.  
  
Emma nodded, trying to decide how she felt. She squirmed a little, unused to the feeling.  
  
“Is it…does it hurt?” Terri asked.  
  
“N-no…it’s…it’s not sore,” Emma assured her, though it was a little bit. “It’s…uh…uncomfortable…no, no it’s not, it’s just…strange.”  
  
Terri looked down at her like she had absolutely no idea what to do next. Emma pulled her down into a kiss.  
  
“Don’t stop,” she whispered against her lips.   
  
More than the actual act itself, Emma was in awe of how close it made her feel to Terri. They were physically connected in that moment and that made Emma dizzy with happiness. She lifted her hips to encourage Terri.   
  
This time, when she entered Emma, Terri was looking right in her eyes, searching for any sign of pain or discomfort. She moved slowly, letting Emma adjust to the feeling, using her thumb to keep pressure on her clit. Emma bit her lip to keep from crying out. She kept her eyes locked with Terri’s and gradually, and after a few bumpy moments, they found a gentle rhythm. Emma could feel the world swirling around her again and she rocked against Terri’s hand, unsure if she’d know when she was finished.  
  
Emma felt like she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs. She wanted to speak, or scream, or tell Terri to stop before she exploded, or something. Instead, when she opened her mouth, the world narrowed to a single point of focus and her breath caught in her throat. Far away, she heard someone moan. Her body felt both numb and alive with sensation. It was only when she collapsed back to the bed that she realised she’d risen up off it. Gasping for air, she forced her eyes open and saw Terri grinning like the cat that had got the cream. Emma shook her head.  
  
“I…that…”  
  
Terri dropped her head to rest in the crook of Emma’s neck, kissing her shoulder.  
  
“I love you,” she whispered, hardly loud enough to be heard.  
  
“I love you,” Emma said, turning her face to nuzzle into Terri’s hair. “And seriously, why don’t people do that all the time?”  
  
Terri laughed against her skin, a beautiful, musical sound that Emma could never imagine tiring of hearing. Emma slowly became aware that Terri was still inside her. Terri seemed to realise too because she started to withdraw. Emma jerked as her hand brushed by still sensitive flesh. Terri held her hand up, unsure of what to do with it.  
  
“I…have wipes,” Emma said, reaching to the drawer in her bedside table as best she could with Terri on top of her and dragging out a packet of baby wipes.  
  
“Thanks,” Terri said, cleaning off her hand.   
  
Emma watched her do it, reaching up a hand to swipe through her hair as she did so. Terri looked down at her with a smug grin.  
  
“So, I was good, huh?” she asked, throwing the wipe on the floor and settling back down, her elbows on either side of Emma’s head.  
  
Emma nodded, straining up to kiss Terri’s lips.  
  
“Amazing,” she breathed. “Really, I didn’t know what to expect, but it was way better.”  
  
“Well, I’m glad,” Terri said. “I…wanted it to be special.”  
  
She ducked her head and Emma felt tears spring to her eyes. She ran a hand down Terri’s bare back.  
  
“Terri, every second I spend with you is special,” she said, meaning it with all her heart. “And this…this was the most…I’ve never felt more special…and now I want to make you feel that way too.”  
  
Terri looked back up, need stark on her face. Emma pushed gently on her shoulders to get her to roll onto her back, which she did without question. Emma got up onto her knees, crawling to Terri and dropping a kiss on her belly. Terri giggled and Emma pressed her face into the firm surface, hiding her smile. She kissed her again, just above her belly button before sitting back up and taking hold of Terri’s panties and pulling them off.  
  
“Wow,” Terri said. “You don’t mess around.”  
  
Emma threw the undergarments over her shoulder.  
  
“I just want all of you,” she said, simply. “I don’t want anything in my way.”  
  
She pushed her own damp panties off, throwing them the same way as Terri’s.   
  
“Jesus,” Terri muttered as Emma lay down next to her, stretching her body out alongside Terri’s, making sure every inch of skin that could possibly be touching was touching.   
  
“I…I need you to tell me what feels good, okay?” Emma asked, sliding her hand between their bodies to cup Terri’s breast, making Terri gasp.  
  
“That…that feels good,” she said, pressing into Emma’s hand. “Really good.”  
  
Emma smiled. It was intoxicating to be able to give someone such pleasure. To literally hold the key to their pleasure in her hand. She wanted more of it. Thinking back to what Terri had done to her, she slowly started to slide her hand down Terri’s abdomen, finding it slick with sweat. When she reached the neatly trimmed patch of hair at the apex of Terri’s thighs, she hesitated.  
  
“What should I…what do you want me to…” she stumbled over her words.  
  
Terri opened her eyes and looked into Emma’s.  
  
“I just want you to touch me,” Terri said. “Please…touch me.”  
  
Emma leaned over and brought their lips together in a sweet kiss, at the same time, she slid her hand further down and through wet heat. Terri made a noise against her mouth and she moved back to watch Terri’s face. She marvelled at the smoothness against her fingers, the slippery layers and the fleeting expressions on Terri’s face as she explored them.   
  
She set about her task with the same pursuit of perfection that she did everything. She wanted Terri to know how she felt about her, she wanted her to be in no doubt about that. Terri helped her and guided her, apparently much less inhibited about talking about this kind of thing than Emma. And before long, Terri went rigid under her hands, Emma’s name on her breath. Emma watched her face in wonder and kissed her until she came back to herself.  
  
Terri grinned up at her.  
  
“Well, I guess you need to do the decent thing and marry me now, Pillsbury,” she drawled, running her thumb along Emma’s eyebrow.  
  
Emma smiled and blushed and somehow managed to stutter without speaking. She dropped her head and hid her face in Terri’s neck, smiling against her damp skin.  
  
“Maybe I will, one day,” she murmured.  
  
Emma lay in Terri’s arms that night, watching her sleep. Every now and then she’d glance over Terri’s shoulder, out of the window, hoping to see a shooting star so that she could wish for them to stay this happy forever.  
  


***  
  
This is the fifth time they’ve tried. Terri is pacing nervously as Emma sits on the couch. The pregnancy test is on the coffee table in front of Emma. As it draws closer to the requisite waiting time, Emma looks up at Terri.  
  
“Come and sit with me, please?” she asks, patting the spot beside her.  
  
Terri sighs and sits down, but she’s nibbling on the skin at the side of her thumb. Emma gently removes the hand from her mouth and holds it in her own, cradled against her chest. When the alarm they’d set on Terri’s phone goes off, they both jump, startled. Terri gets up again and starts pacing.   
  
“I can’t look,” she says. “If it’s negative…just tell me. I’d rather hear it in your voice than see it on a stick.”  
  
Emma takes the test out of Terri’s hand, finding her own shaking more than she’d realised. She takes a deep, steadying breath. And she looks.  
  
A smile breaks over her face.   
  
“Honey,” she whispers, in case it changes the result. “We’re having a baby.”  
  
Terri grabs her wrist and looks at the test. Before Emma can speak, her lips are occupied. Terri is kissing her deeply and Emma feels like her chest is lighter than it has been for months. Maybe years. She pulls Terri close as their kiss comes to an end, their heads turning in unison to look at the test.  
  
“We’re having a baby,” Terri whispers, echoing Emma’s words. “We’re having a baby.”  
  
Emma laughs out loud and slides off the couch, kneeling between Terri’s legs and hugging her. She kisses her way down Terri’s throat, over her chest and onto her belly.  
  
“Hey there, baby,” she whispers. “We’re gonna  _love_  you so much…we already do.”  
  
Terri strokes Emma’s hair, smiling down at her. Emma looks up at her.  
  
“You did it,” she tells her, eyes brimming with tears.   
  
Terri shakes her head.   
  
“ _We_  did it,” she says, simply.  
  


***

  
Emma came back from class one day to find Terri sitting on the steps outside her dorm. She smiled at the surprise, but it faded as she drew closer. There were tear tracks as clear as day on Terri’s cheeks, though her eyes were dry.  
  
“Terri?” she called out, picking up her pace to a jog. “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”  
  
She arrived next to Terri and dropped down beside her, pulling her into her arms.  
  
“They gave me an ultimatum,” Terri murmured into her shoulder. “Give you up or get out and don’t come back.”  
  
Emma’s insides seemed to stop; her heart freezing in her chest. She urged Terri’s face up so that she was looking into her eyes.  
  
“Wh-“  
  
Terri’s fingers came up to cover her mouth, quieting her.  
  
“Don’t ask me what I chose,” Terri whispered. “I didn’t even have to think about it. You’re my family.”  
  
Emma’s eyes welled with tears and she pulled Terri back into her arms, holding her close and whispering nonsensical words against her ear, trying to convey how much she felt for her and failing miserably.   
  
When they finally gathered themselves enough to get up and make their way into Emma’s dorm room, Emma sat Terri on the bed and set about making tea. She cast worried glances over her shoulder ever so often, concerned by Terri’s slumped posture and quiet demeanour. She was used to seeing Terri shine and she didn’t like this muted version of her. She  _hated_  that her mother was able to do that to her.  
  
Terri’s mother was…a challenge to say the least. She was a strict Catholic and Terri had only recently worked up the courage to tell her parents about her relationship with Emma, having previously managed to keep it hidden under the mask of ‘best friendship’. Her mother had not taken it well. Emma secretly thought that Terri’s dad would’ve been supportive of her, of them, if it wasn’t for her mother. He was a nice man. But he was completely under the thumb of Terri’s mother.  
  
Emma hadn’t been there, but from Terri’s description, it sounded awful. And Emma worried that Terri was actually shielding her from the worst of it. Her mother had called Terri every name under the sun, in both English and Italian. She had grounded Terri and banned her from ever seeing Emma again.   
  
They saw each other at school, of course. They spent lunchtimes in empty classrooms, just the two of them, hugging and crying and promising not to let this break them.  
  
Then, just as suddenly as she’d imposed it, Terri’s mother lifted the grounding. Terri had been subdued when she’d told Emma this, which confused Emma. She had been ecstatic. It came out later that Terri’s mother had told her daughter that their relationship was a sham and that it wouldn’t last. And if Terri was willing to risk her reputation and her future happiness on a silly high school experimental fling, that was up to her.  
  
Emma would cheerfully have wrung the woman’s neck that day, and the same murderous feelings were bubbling up in her as she poured tea for her and Terri. How could anyone make their own child choose between their family and someone they loved? It was incomprehensible to Emma. Not for the first time, she thanked whoever was listening for her parents. They had accepted Terri from the beginning. Emma suspected that her mother knew she was in love with Terri before she did. Part of her wondered whether her parents were just thrilled that she had found someone who seemed to help with her issues. Whatever the reason, she was grateful for them.  
  
She carried both cups of tea to her bed, handing one to Terri before sitting down beside her, both of them leaning against the wall, their arms touching. They sipped their tea in silence for a while.  
  
“What am I gonna do?” Terri asked, her voice almost inaudible.  
  
Emma shook her head.  
  
“What are  _we_  gonna do,” she corrected, quietly.  
  
Terri smiled a little at that and nodded.  
  
“Yeah, what are we gonna do?”  
  
Emma sighed. The answer wasn’t quite as easy as the question. She dropped a hand to Terri’s thigh, squeezing gently.  
  
“Maybe…maybe it’s just a threat?”   
  
Terri shook her head.  
  
“It’s not,” she said. “She went through in explicit detail what she would do if I chose ‘wrong’. And I checked before I came here…she’s emptied my college fund. I’m paid up for this semester…but after that I…Emma, I don’t know what to do.”  
  
Emma took the cup out of Terri’s hand, placing it with her own on the bedside table. She turned and folded Terri up in her arms, feeling her heart break as Terri sobbed against her. She held her close and tried to come up with something useful to say.  
  
“You can move in with my parents,” Emma said, out of nowhere.  
  
Terri pulled away, tears still running off her face.  
  
“That’s really sweet, baby,” Terri said, her voice still thick. “But just because my parents are assholes, doesn’t mean I can impose on yours.”  
  
Emma shook her head.  
  
“You wouldn’t be imposing, they  _love_  you,” she told Terri with a smile. It was true. And the more Emma thought about it, the more sense it made, and the more she was sure her parents would go for it.  
  
“I’m pretty loveable,” Terri agreed with a half smile.  
  
Emma hugged her tighter against her body, glad for the small glimpse of the real Terri, of  _her_  Terri.  
  
“You’re  _very_  loveable,” Emma mumbled, against Terri’s temple.   
  
“I have my dorm until the end of the semester,” Terri said, wiping her face. “I’ll use the time between now and then to find a place…find a job.”  
  
Emma spoke without thinking.  
  
“Then it’s a place for both of us you’re looking for,” she said, firmly.  
  
“Emma…no, you’r-“  
  
“Completely and utterly in love with you is what I am,” Emma said, pulling back enough to look Terri in the eye. “I want to be where you are…and this…we’re in this together. The least we can do is be physically together.”  
  
Terri raised an eyebrow and Emma pinched her thigh.  
  
“Don’t be vulgar right now, Terri,” she whispered.  
  
Terri’s smile faded and she rested her forehead against Emma’s, taking her hand and lacing their fingers together.  
  
“I can’t ask you t-“  
  
“You didn’t ask,” Emma cut her off again. “It’s what I want.”  
  
“You want to end up with a college dropout for a girlfriend?” Terri pushed, her eyes falling to Emma’s comforter. “Because that’s what I’ll be. A Lima loser…”  
  
Emma grasped Terri’s chin, forcing her to look up.   
  
“You are  _not_  a Lima loser,” she said, her voice dangerously close to breaking. “And you can still go to college…we’ll find…we’ll look for scholarships or…we’ll find a way.”  
  
Terri shook her head.  
  
“No, I need to work…if we’re gonna have a place to live then we’re gonna have to pay for it, I’ll get a job…two jobs if I have to.”  
  
Emma squeezed her hand.  
  
“I’ll get a job t-“  
  
“No,” Terri told her, shaking her head vehemently. “You’re going to college and you’re gonna concentrate on college.”  
  
“But yo-“  
  
“I can maybe go to college later,” Terri told her with a sad smile. “When you’ve got a great job and are keeping me in the lap of luxury.”  
  
“You will go to college,” Emma said, her chest aching for Terri’s sacrifice. “I promise you we will make it happen.”  
  
“Maybe I will and maybe I won’t…but it doesn’t matter either way,” Terri argued. “Because I’ll be with you…that’s what’s important.”  
  
“I love you,” Emma whispered, unable to say anything else, Barely able to believe that Terri would give up so much, just to be with  _her_. She pulled Terri into her arms again, trying to convey what she felt for her.  
  
“I know,” Terri said, muffled into Emma’s neck. “I know you do. It’s what keeps me going.”

\---

  
Terri ended up getting two jobs; working in a bed linen store during the day and waitressing in a diner a few nights a week. With some help from Emma’s parents, and a contribution from Terri’s dad that he made her swear never to tell her mother about, they got together enough money to put down a security deposit on an apartment.  
  
It was basic, at best. The décor was dated, the plumbing left a lot to be desired and it wasn’t all that clean. For a week before they moved in, they spent every spare minute they had there, cleaning and painting and trying to make it into a home. While they worked, they talked about the future they wanted.  
  
“One day we’ll have a great big house, up on a hill…maybe we’ll have a pool,” Terri told Emma as they turned a wall from an nicotine laced yellow to a fresh, soft violet.  
  
“In Ohio?” Emma asked with a giggle. “It’ll be a skating rink for half the year.”   
  
Terri shrugged.  
  
“Double the fun,” she said.  
  
“Double the danger,” Emma murmured. “Pools are a safety hazard for kids.”  
  
“Right,” Terri said. Emma could tell without looking at her that she was smiling. “Of course we’d have a pool cover to keep our dozens of kids safe.”  
  
“I never said anything about ‘dozens’” Emma said, shuddering at the thought of a household full of screaming, messy children. “One or two might be nice though. We’ll need something to fill that big house we’re gonna have.”  
  
Terri nodded, dipping her paint roller into the tray.  
  
“I’d like one or two,” she said, casually. “And a dog.”  
  
“No dog,” Emma said. “Maybe a cat.”  
  
“No cat,” Terri said. “They look like they’re plotting something. My aunt had one and I’m  _sure_  it had plans for world domination.”  
  
“Just us and a couple of kids, then,” Emma said with a big sigh. “That’ll have to do.”  
  
“Yep…guess that’d be okay,” Terri agreed, smiling as she applied the paint to the wall.   
  
Without warning, Emma turned and used her brush to dab some paint on the end of Terri’s nose. Terri went cross eyed trying to look at it before bringing her eyes up to meet Emma’s sparkling ones.  
  
“You did  _not_  just do that,” she said, advancing on Emma, slowly, holding up the roller.  
  
Emma backed up, shaking her head.  
  
“You’re right, I didn’t just do that…you must be imagining things,” she said, glancing behind her and seeing the wall fast approaching. “Terri…Terri I’m sorry…Terri please.”  
  
Emma’s back was literally against the, thankfully unpainted, wall. She held up her hands, surrendering as Terri pressed up against her. Emma eyed the roller, just waiting for it to descend on her face. She tried one last plaintive look into Terri’s eyes. Terri paused, lowering the hand holding the roller. She leaned in and rubbed her nose against Emma’s, giving her an Eskimo kiss and letting some of the paint rub off. She pulled back and smiled.  
  
“There,” Terri said, satisfied. “Now we match.”  
  
Emma tried to see the spot at the end of her nose and smiled.  
  
“I like us matching,” she said.  
  
Terri stepped back and looked at the wall Emma was standing against. She held out her hand.  
  
“Gimme your brush,” she said. Emma complied and Terri pulled over a can of paint, dipping the brush into it and gesturing for Emma to move. Emma stood to the side and watched as Terri made some brushstrokes, resulting in a huge heart with ‘E + T’ inside it. She stood back and surveyed her work. She turned to Emma.  
  
“When we paint over this, we’ll always know it’s underneath,” she said. “And it’ll remind us of today.”  
  
Emma moved to stand next to Terri, wrapping her arms around her waist as they both looked at the drying paint. Emma smiled and laid her head on Terri’s shoulder. The heart was far from perfect. It was messy, uneven and drips were starting to run down the wall. But it was big, and real and vibrant. It was  _them_. Emma closed her eyes and squeezed Terri around her middle.  
  
“Maybe we should just keep it there?” she suggested, biting the inside of her cheek. “You’ve always been arty…this could be your first masterpiece.”  
  
Terri looked down at her with an eyebrow raised.  
  
“Shut up,” she mumbled, but she wrapped an arm around Emma and kissed her forehead as she turned back to look at it. “When we get our big house I’ll paint you a picture for above the fireplace.”  
  
Emma nodded. “I’ll hold you to that,” she said. “And we’re painting this wall last…this is gonna stay here for as long as possible.”  
  
They worked late into the night that night, pulling a mattress into the living room to sleep on instead of going back to their separate dorms. They made love underneath the heart, whispering promises of forever to each other.  
  
When the sun came up, they watched it together from their kitchen window, sipping coffee and it felt like the new day had been made just for them, filled with possibilities.  
  


***

  
She gets home from work that evening to find Terri curled up at one end of the couch, tearstains on her face. Emma drops everything, literally, and is at her side in seconds.  
  
“Are you okay? What’s wrong? Is it the baby?” Emma’s mind turns over the myriad possibilities that could be the cause of Terri sitting alone, crying. Her hand automatically goes to Terri’s belly. Terri’s hand comes to cover it a moment later and Emma can feel her shaking.  
  
“Sweetie, I’m really scared,” Emma says, her voice quivering. “Please tell me you’re okay.”  
  
“There’s no baby,” Terri says, so quietly that Emma is sure she’s misheard.   
  
“What?” Emma says, just as quietly. “Did…did something happen today? Why didn’t you call me?”  
  
But Terri’s shaking her head.  
  
“There’s never been a baby,” she says, tears spilling from her eyes. “I was never pregnant.”  
  
Emma’s brow creases, trying to process what she’s hearing. She pulls back slightly but Terri traps her hand on her belly.  
  
“I…saw the test…it was positive,” Emma says.  
  
“I know, it  _was_ ,” Terri says, lifting Emma’s hand from her belly to her chest, Emma can feel her heart hammering. “It was…a false positive or something…I don’t know…it…”  
  
Terri’s voice is hoarse and Emma’s heart aches to think how much she’s been crying.  
  
“Baby, why didn’t you call me? I didn’t even know you were going to the doctor today,” Emma says, her throat closing up, she cups Terri’s cheek. “I should’ve been there with you.”  
  
Terri leans close to Emma, resting head on her shoulder.  
  
“It wasn’t today.”  
  
Again, Emma is unsure she’s heard right. She feels her body tense, even though she tries to fight it. She strokes Terri’s face and kisses her temple.  
  
“What do you mean?” she asks.  
  
Terri buries her face into Emma’s neck.  
  
“I found out two weeks ago…I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Terri says, lifting her head and clinging to Emma’s shirt. “I wanted to tell you but you were so happy and I couldn’t do it and I’m so sorry.”  
  
Emma doesn’t feel anything but confusion for a few moments. She looks at Terri and listens to her, but isn’t processing what she’s hearing.   
  
“Emma…Emma, say something,” Terri begs.  
  
Emma shakes her head, slowly. She covers Terri’s hands on her shirt, and gently pulls her away. She stands up and turns to walk back to the hall. As expected, she feels a hand on her arm as Terri follows her. Emma shakes her off and keeps walking but, again, Terri follows, clutching her elbow and turning her around.  
  
“Emma, please…where are you go-…don’t leave!” Terri cries, her eyes wild and wet. “Don’t leave me. We need to talk about this.”  
  
“No, Terri,” Emma says. “I need to think. I need to not be here. I need to ask myself why you, the person I love more than my own life, lied to me about something we both care about so much.”  
  
Terri’s hands fall from her arms and wrap around her own waist.  
  
“I love you,” Terri whimpers. “Please come back to me.”  
  
Emma turns without a word and walks out of the room into the hall. She closes her eyes as she hears Terri begin to sob, but she doesn’t slow down until she reaches her car and gets inside.   
  
Once seated in the driver’s seat she allows herself to breathe. She expects tears to come. Or anger. Or  _something_. But nothing does. She’s still numb. Without thinking she reaches into her purse and pulls out her cellphone. She punches a few buttons and waits until the call is answered.  
  
“Will…I need to…can you meet me?”  
  


\---

  
Will sits back in his seat, running a hand over his head, leaving it on the back of his neck.  
  
“Wow,” he says. “That’s…wow.”  
  
Emma nods, covering her face with her hands.  
  
“I…I don’t know what to say,” Will says.  
  
“I don’t know what I want you to say,” Emma admits, through her hands. “I shouldn’t have even asked you here…burdened you with this.”  
  
He reaches over and touches her forearm until she lets her hands drag over her face and looks over at him with red rimmed eyes. He smiles.  
  
“I’m happy you called me,” he says. “I’m glad you have someone to talk to about this. Even if that someone is as clueless as me.”  
  
She manages to muster up a small smile for his benefit.  
  
“You’re not clueless…I just…I needed to say it out loud, I think,” she says. “To get things straight in my head.”  
  
He nods, bringing her arm down and taking her hand, stroking his thumb over the back of it.  
  
“And…any clearer?” he asks, his voice soft.  
  
“No,” she says. “Not at all.”  
  
“Listen, you can stay at my place tonight…give yourself some time,” he says. “I’ll take the couch.”  
  
“N…no,” she says, hesitating. “I should…I can’t ask that of you.”  
  
She hates staying away from Terri. They’ve only spent a handful of nights apart since they moved in together. And even now, after this, she still doesn’t want to go anywhere else. She wants to go home. She wants this to be over. But she knows it’s not.  
  
“It’s okay, Emma,” he tells her. “Nobody expects you to come to terms with this in one night. It’s pretty huge…I mean, breaking up with someone yo-“  
  
She yanks her hand out of his, cutting him off.  
  
“Breaking up?” she hisses. “What are you…why would…I never said  _anything_  about breaking up.”  
  
“Well….no,” he stammers, clearly taken aback by her reaction. “But I…just assumed that…”  
  
“Well don’t,” she tells him. “Don’t assume anything. Terri’s…Terri’s my whole world. If I wasn’t with her I…I don’t know who I’d be.”  
  
“Is that a good thing?” he asks. “You sound like you’ve lost yourself in her.”  
  
She shakes her head vehemently as he speaks.  
  
“No, it’s not like that…” she protests. “I…I know this sounds ridiculous and like I watch too many movies, but she really is the other half of me…I don’t work without her.”  
  
“You don’t know if you do,” he continues to push. “You’ve never tried…you’ve never had to.”  
  
“I don’t know what you think you’re doing,” Emma says, reaching into her purse for her wallet to pay for the coffee she ordered and didn’t touch. “But it isn’t helping.”  
  
She stands up and he does too, blocking her way.  
  
“Emma,” he says, taking a step closer to her and gripping her arm. “There was a reason you called me tonight…despite the fact we barely know each other.”  
  
“Oh?” she asks, looking down at his hand on her arm and back up again. “And what would that reason be?”  
  
“There’s something between us,” he says, looking into her eyes, willing her to agree. “You can feel it, I know you can.”  
  
She opens her mouth to deny any such thing, when it hits her. She’s been leading him on. She’s been enjoying the attention he gives her. He actively tries to make her smile and she likes that. He puts effort into his conversations with her, and she’s missed that. But she never wanted…  
  
She never wanted it from  _him_. She wanted it from Terri.  
  
“Will….I….I’m sorry if I’ve given you the wrong idea…or some signal or something…but there’s nothing between us,” she tells him, enunciating each word. “I don’t feel anything.”  
  
He’s shaking his head.  
  
“No, you feel it,” he insists. “But you’re scared. Terri’s all you’ve ever known and you’re scared to leave her…even though you’re not happy.”  
  
Emma pulls her arm out of his grip, glaring up at him, trembling with rage.  
  
“How  _dare_  you tell me how I feel. How dare you assume you know anything about my life or my relationship,” she seethes, her voice barely above a whisper.  
  
“Anything I know about your life or your relationship is what I heard from you,” he retorts. “And pretty much none of it sounded like it made you happy.”  
  
“Then you weren’t listening,” she spits back.   
  
“No, maybe  _you_  weren’t listening to yourself,” he says.  
  
And before she knows what’s happening, his lips are covering hers. It’s so foreign and unfamiliar to be kissing anyone who isn’t Terri that she doesn’t react for a few seconds. When she realises what’s happening, she pushes him away, a hand flying to cover her mouth.  
  
“Don’t ever do that again,” she says, as calmly as she can.  
  
And with that she walks past him.  
  
“You can’t stay with her forever because she came to your rescue in high school,” he calls after her.  
  
She thinks about keeping going. She thinks about leaving him there with those words hanging between them. But she can’t. She turns around and shakes her head.  
  
“I’m not with her because she saved me from a bunch of girls in high school,” she says. “I’m with her because I love her.”  
  
And that’s what it comes down to. She loves Terri. She thinks about listing the things she loves about Terri, the reasons behind the way she feels about her. But there’s someone she needs to say that to more than Will Schuester. She turns and leaves.  
  


\---

  
When she opens the door to the apartment, Terri is sitting in the hallway, against the wall. She’s very possibly been sitting there since Emma left. Her face bears evidence of fresh tears as she scrambles to her feet. Emma closes the door and locks it behind her, giving herself a few seconds to compose herself before she turns back to face Terri.  
  
Terri looks like she’s relieved and terrified all at once. Emma looks at her for a long time.  
  
“Explain it to me,” she says, finally. “Tell me. I want to understand.”  
  
Terri nods.  
  
“I…I’m really happy you came back,” she says, her voice rough. “I was so scared you wouldn’t.”  
  
Emma shrugs.  
  
“This is my home.  _Our_  home. Where else would I go?” she asks.  
  
Terri nods again, clearly unsure of how to proceed. Emma rubs her face with her hand and sighs.  
  
“Look, let’s just go sit on the couch, okay? We need to talk and there’s no point standing here with the Grand Canyon in between us,” she says, referring to the distance, both metaphorical and physical, between them.  
  
She walks over to Terri and puts a hand on her cheek. Terri immediately leans into her touch and Emma fights down the lump in her throat.  
  
“We’re not okay,” she tells Terri, whose face falls. “But we will be. Because I love you. And you love me. And that’s what matters. So now we need to work on getting back to being okay.”  
  
Terri nods, tears escaping from her eyes and running over Emma’s hand on her cheek, hot against her cool skin. Emma swipes at them with her thumb.  
  
“So let’s start with that explanation, huh?” Emma whispers, her throat rapidly closing.  
  
Terri nods, her sobs coming as hiccups now as she takes shuddering breaths to get them under control. She pushes away from the wall and Emma steps away, turning to walk into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. Terri joins her, but sits a little further away than she normally would.   
  
“Why?” is all Emma says, knowing she doesn’t need to elaborate.  
  
Terri closes her eyes, another sob escaping. She’s silent for a moment, then she opens her eyes and faces Emma. It takes all of Emma’s willpower not to reach out and pull her into a hug.  
  
“I wanted it so bad,” Terri says, her voice rough. “I know you did too. When that stick said we were pregnant…that was it. We had done it. I had finally  _achieved_  something…I’d made you happy.”  
  
Emma shakes her head. Terri makes her happy; baby or no baby. It stings that she doesn’t seem to know that. Terri continues without letting Emma intercede.  
  
“I wanted you to stay as happy as you were that day,” she says. “I didn’t want to take that away from you…even though I knew…I knew in my heart I had to tell you…I just wanted to keep that happiness for a little longer.” She starts to break down again but struggles to keep herself together. “I’ve never done anything. I never did anything I said I would…I wanted to do this  _one_  thing…for…you.”  
  
Her speech is becoming broken by sobs again and there are tears streaming from Emma’s eyes too. She stretches her arm to cover Terri’s hand with her own.  
  
“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” Terri whispers, her throat barely working now. “Tell me what to do…I’ll do it. Don’t leave me.”  
  
Emma’s eyes close even as she closes the distance and wraps Terri up in her arms, rocking her back and forth. She presses her face into Terri’s neck, tasting saltwater from where her tears have run.  
  
“I’m sorry too,” Emma forces out, past the lump in her throat. “You should never have felt like this…I should never have let you feel like this.”  
  
She feels Terri take a breath to speak but she doesn’t let her.  
  
“No, you felt like you had to get pregnant to make me happy, you felt like you had to  _lie_  to keep me happy,” she lifts her head and hold Terri’s face between her hands. “ _You_  make me happy, Terri. I don’t need anything else. Just you.”  
  
Terri nods, looking into Emma’s eyes. Emma bites her lip.  
  
“I…I think we’ve lost sight of  _us_  lately,” she admits. “And that’s both of our faults. We’ve been so focused on babies and getting pregnant, we’ve forgotten about spending time together,  _being_  together…just us.”  
  
Terri covers Emma’s hands where they still cup her face. She nods again.  
  
“I…I felt like you were slipping away,” Terri whispers. “Like you’d rather be at work than with me…you’d rather be with people who had made something of themselves…like that Will guy.”  
  
Emma’s eyes drop and she lets her hands fall away from Terri’s face, although Terri keeps hold of them. Emma looks back up, determined to be looking into Terri’s eyes when she says this.  
  
“I called Will tonight,” she admits. “I met him.”  
  
Terri tenses up. Emma swallows and continues.  
  
“I…needed someone to talk to. To make sense of what had happened,” she explains, realising for the first time that she’d played right into Terri’s worst fears. “Terri he kissed me.”  
  
She expects an explosion. She expects Terri to shout or threaten Will’s body parts, or  _something_. What she doesn’t expect is the whispered question.  
  
“Did you want him to?”  
  
It almost breaks her; that Terri needs to ask.   
  
“No,” she says, firmly, forcing her voice to work. “I didn’t. I pushed him away. I...told him not to come near me again.”  
  
Terri lets out a long, shaky breath. Emma leans her forehead against Terri’s.  
  
“I’ve never wanted anyone but you,” Emma says, and means it.   
  
“Why him?” Terri asks, and clears her throat. “Why did you call him tonight?”  
  
Emma sighs.  
  
“I shouldn’t have,” she says. “He…he was under the impression that I had feelings for him. I…I gave him that impression.”  
  
She feels Terri move away and she holds on, forcing her chin around to look into her eyes.  
  
“I wanted the attention,” she whispers. “I liked that he paid attention to me…that he was  _interested_  in me. But it wasn’t him. I wanted that from  _you_. I just didn’t know how to ask with everything that was going on with the pregnancy thing and…”  
  
“I didn’t know how to keep hold of you,” Terri interrupts. “Except to get pregnant.”  
  
Emma’s tears spill over again. She pulls Terri close and kisses her forehead, her cheek, her nose.  
  
“I don’t need anything but you,” she says, fiercely. “Just you.”  
  
Terri nods against her but doesn’t speak, just clings to her.   
  
“We need to get  _us_  back,” Emma says. “We need to put everything on hold and just concentrate on  _us_.”  
  
Terri sniffs and lifts her head, looking at Emma for a long moment.  
  
“I was so afraid you weren’t going to come back,” she confides. “I don’t know what I would have done…”  
  
“I’m here,” Emma says. “This is where I belong. It’s where I  _want_  to be.”  
  
She leans in and brushes her lips over Terri’s.  
  
“We’ve got some hard stuff ahead,” Emma says, quietly. “We’ve got some talking to do, and some changes to make. But I know we’ll be okay.”  
  
Terri nods, a small smile appearing on her face. She holds up her hand, fingers curled in a fist, except her pinkie. Emma laughs, a tear making its way from the corner of her eye to her chin. She links her pinkie with Terri’s and pulls her in for another kiss.  
  


\---

  
Emma knocks softly on the door to the choir room. It goes unheard over the din of thirteen voices all talking at once. Finn notices her and waves.  
  
“Hey Ms P!” he calls. “We’re having celebration pizza…you wanna join us?”  
  
Will turns around and smiles at her, beckoning her into the room. She walks over to the group, shaking her head.  
  
“Thank you, Finn…but I was just stopping by on my way home to say well done on the win at sectionals, you guys deserved it,” she says, giving them a little clap.  
  
She’s met with a chorus of ‘thank yous’ before everyone turns back to the pizza. Will walks over, biting into his own slice and getting grease on his chin.  
  
“You’re welcome to join us, there’s plenty of pizza,” he says.  
  
She shakes her head with a smile.   
  
“Thanks, but I have to get home,” she explains. “Tonight is date night.”  
  
“On a Monday?” Will asks, his eyebrows raised. “Pretty unusual.”  
  
Emma smiles.  
  
“We’re a pretty unusual couple,” she says. “But yeah, Monday is date night at home…it’s Terri’s turn to arrange it. We observe the more traditional weekend date nights by going out.”  
  
She can’t keep the smile off her face as she speaks. After long discussions about their future and their present, she and Terri had decided to hold off on getting pregnant for a little while. Until they get back to where they need to be. They’re getting there. The focus is firmly back on their relationship and it feels wonderful. Emma feels like a teenager again.  
  
Will nods, smiling.  
  
“I’m glad you’re happy, Emma,” he says.  
  
“Me too,” she tells him before looking over at the kids. “Okay, well enjoy the pizza party everyone. You’ve earned it.”  
  
The acknowledge her with ‘thank yous’ and ‘goodbyes’. Finn catches her eye and smiles.  
  
“Say ‘hi’ to Ms D for me,” he says. “And tell her she’s welcome.”  
  
Emma’s brow creases up in confusion but she nods anyway.   
  
“O…kay, Finn,” she says. “I will.”  
  
With a final smile at the group, she turns and heads out of the room.  
  


\---

  
“Honey, I’m home!” she calls out as she closes the apartment door behind her, dropping her bag and taking off her coat.   
  
Terri appears in the living room door, holding two glasses of something bubbly. Emma looks at her curiously.  
  
“Are we celebrating something?” she asks, stepping forward and accepting one of the glasses from Terri, along with a peck on the lips.  
  
“Oh, I don’t know,” Terri says, the self-satisfied smirk on her face indicating otherwise. “Maybe somebody got an A on her big college assignment?”  
  
“You did?” Emma squeaks. “Oh, sweetie that’s  _fantastic_!”  
  
She takes Terri’s glass and puts them both down on the bookcase so that she can wrap Terri up in a hug. She squeezes her tightly.  
  
“I’m so proud of you,” she whispers. “I know how hard you worked on it.”  
  
Terri pulls away enough to kiss Emma’s lips, a soft caress. She smiles and steps out of Emma’s arms, taking her hand.  
  
“C’mere, I wanna show you something,” she says, a blush uncharacteristically colouring her neck.  
  
Emma allows herself to be pulled into the living room, though when she gets there she stands stock still. Above the fireplace is a large painting. It’s of their first apartment, of that wall where Terri painted their names in a heart. It’s  _exactly_ as she remembers it.   
  
“The assignment was to paint a significant memory,” Terri explains, softly. “This was the first image that came to mind.”  
  
“It’s perfect,” Emma whispers, tears stinging her eyes.  
  
“Hence the A,” Terri whispers back, nudging her.   
  
Emma giggles, shaking her head and turning to plant a long, slow kiss on Terri’s lips. She pulls back just enough to speak.  
  
“So this is your plan for date night, huh?” she teases. “Wow me with your talent and get me drunk?”  
  
“No. Well, not  _just_  that,” Terri admits. “I also have an inflatable mattress that I was gonna drag in here later so we could reenact that night…you know, for symbolism or whatever.”  
  
Emma laughs, pulling Terri against her.   
  
“You’re terrible,” she murmurs against her cheek.   
  
“But you love me anyway, right?” Terri says.  
  
“Nope,” Emma retorts. Off Terri’s confused look, she walks her fingers up Terri’s chest as she continues. “I love you _because_  you’re terrible. And  _because_  you’re sweet. And  _because_  you’re…Terri.”  
  
Terri grins.   
  
“Those are all good reasons,” she says, her voice a little rough.   
  
Emma doesn’t want this to turn emotional, there will be plenty of time for that later, after she’s had a couple of glasses of champagne. So for now she bumps Terri’s hip with her own.  
  
“Oh, Finn says ‘you’re welcome’, by the way…I take it for helping to put up the painting.”  
  
Terri sighs.  
  
“That boy…I swore him to secrecy,” she grumbles. “Yeah, he helped. He’s the tallest person I know.”  
  
Emma turns again to look at the painting, her lips turning up in a soft smile. She shakes her head.  
  
“He also blew up the mattress,” Terri continues and Emma’s eyes grow wide.   
  
Her head whips around just in time to catch the smirk Teri’s trying to hide. She pokes her in the ribs.  
  
“Not funny,” she chides.  
  
“It was a little bit funny,” Terri counters, letting go of Emma to go and retrieve their glasses from the hallway.   
  
She comes back in and gives Emma her glass, holding her own up in a toast.  
  
“To us,” she says, simply.  
  
Emma clinks her glass against Terri’s with a smile.  
  
“To us. Always.”


End file.
